Tuesday, January 7, 2014

Black Women Making News Alongside the Satanists

Melissa Harris-Perry, a black woman who apparently is some kinda liberal news host, tearfully apologized to Mitt Romney (yes, Mitt fucking Romney) because she said some (basically true) ish about him.
Electrifying Conclusion: Seriously though, when you read the article you're gonna be like, "Huh? She's apologizing for THAT?" For saying that Republicans have a knack for showing off their token black connection (and making a lame joke about Kimye's child)? All of a sudden she's the black Justine Sacco? GTFOH. Shame on...her. She should've NEVER apologized. I blame her mixedness. Her black side should've been unapologetic. Personally, I don't think any black person anywhere should suffer any consequences because of racist comments. Mixed blacks get to enjoy this privilege as well. It's one of our only privileges recognized by this racist-ass society. She's effing the game up for all of us by acting like we care what non-blacks think about what we say regarding race. And her white side should've kept it real "Duck Dynasty" and been like "These are my beliefs, this is how I was raised. Bald eagles and hunting rifles. God bless America." But she let the tragic mulatto part of her take over, and fell on her sword. I got a sword for her half-a-Thandie-Newton-looking-ass to fall on. And I'd hip her to game while she was falling, over and over again. Kidding, I'm married. But I do have some advice for Ms. Harris-Perry, should she choose to heed: No one has to EVER apologize to Mitt Romney for ANYTHING. Ever. For anything.

The U.S. is going through a crazy cold spell, and guys are keeping it real "Heat Before Hoes" in these streets, I tell ya. Travelling to see chicks, unless it's real crucial, is being kept to an extreme minimum from what Instagram is talking. I aint saying that if you find yourself alone and not with the guy you think you're dating, then you're the ill side chick, but...if you find yourself alone trying out new soup recipes, watching every episode of "Revenge," and not with the guy you think you're dating, then you're the ill side chick. Nothing wrong with a bit of clarity.

A New York City-based religious group called the Satanic Temple (clever of them not to choose a name that too-obviously reflects their religious beliefs) wants to erect a badass Baphomet statue by the Oklahoma Statehouse. Oklahoma Statehouse doesn't seem to be too into it.

"The group offered to donate a monument last month, after State Rep. Mike Ritze (R-Broken Arrow) and conservative Christians were allowed to erect a Ten Commandments monument on the statehouse grounds.
Lawmakers in Oklahoma, however, have insisted that the Satanists should not be given the same treatment as Christians."

Electrifying Conclusion: I'm no devil worshipper (and Baphomet doesn't even necessarily have Satanic origins), but tell me that statue ain't badass. And no way their spokesman's name is actually Lucien Greaves. God, er, gosh, that's boss. I had to stop reading the article after a few paragraphs, because if I discovered one more ill fact about these guys, I would've requested a brochure, but I did notice that PETA also petitioned to erect a monument. So it's not like the Satanists were just being annoying-ass devil worshippers trying to build some evil shit in the heartland, they were making a statement about constitutionality that other reputable groups such as the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster (yes, it's a real church) were also trying to make. I say, what the hell, monuments for everybody! You get a monument, he gets a monument, she gets a monument, everybody gets a monument!

As a birthday gift, President Obama is letting First Lady Michelle Obama stay in Hawaii and hit up the clubs with her friends, while he takes his leggy daughters back to the Capitol. It's a 50th birthday present. Why do I see some sort of black Christian Grey (Christian Black?) figuring somewhere into this?

I know it was creepy and honest of me to call his daughters leggy. Click the link and tell me I'm lyin' though.

Sasheer Zamata is "Saturday Night Live's" newest cast member. This is a big deal because she's the first black female cast member since...Ellen Cleghorne. 
Electrifying Conclusion: I aint counting Maya Rudolph, SORRY. She looks white. The kind that makes you think "she does have a little tint to her" once you realize who her parents are. But nah, she looks white, I don't care how well she threw on the black accent. But she does get the privilege of saying anything she wants about race and not suffering any consequences. *shrug*
By the way, I don't find shit like what went down when Kerry Washington (ugh) hosted "SNL" funny:

"The producers at 'Saturday Night Live' would like to apologize to Kerry Washington for the number of black women she will be asked to play tonight. We made these requests both because Ms. Washington is an actress of considerable range and talent, but also because 'SNL' doesn’t currently have a black woman in the cast. As for the latter, we realize this is not an ideal situation and look forward to rectifying it in the near future ... unless, of course, we fall in love with another white guy first."

I aint even gonna go into my thoughts about white people being real comfortable with making jokes of their racism nowadays, jokes you're called uptight and non-progressive for not laughing along with. Well, I guess I just did go into it. Now allow me to get out of it...From what I read, they just hired this chick so Keenan from "Keenan and Kel" wouldn't have to keep dressing in drag. I don't even watch "SNL," but that sounds like a great reason to hire a black chick to me. I don't enjoy watching Keenan OUT of drag (no offense dude; I've never been a fan of big-boned black comedy).