Mariah Refuses To Grow Up, Unemployment Refuses To Go Down

Why doesn’t she just start painting on all of her clothes? Seriously. What the hell is she wearing? Pushin’ 40 and walkin’ around in beach clothes? Hard to respect a chick like that. It’s like she’s advertisin’ the goods. Why should I think about anything else or treat her like anything besides a vag, a rack, and mouth that hits high notes? I mean, how can anyone be a fan of Mariah Carey’s? Not a fan of her tits, a fan of a song or two, or a fan of her voice, but a fan of the public persona we know as Mariah Carey. Isn’t she in the same age range as Mary J. Blige, Jay-Z, Common, and other artists that have decided not to embarrass themselves by making ridiculously immature music? These artists realize that there’s a whole generation who grew up with them, idolizing them for their respective skills, and would like to continue to grow with them, watching them succeed, evolve, and entertain. Mariah, on the other hand, will only do what will keep her at mega-star status, which means that she makes songs that excite 16-year old hood rats (no disrespect to hood rats, y’all know I got love) and their 30 year old mothers (no disrespect to 30 year old mothers, my moms had me at 14!).

Mariah is like 38, enough already with the songs like “Touch My Body.” Are you kidding?! Even “We Belong Together,” which was a cool song. But I swear she sounds like a 10th grade girl, longing over some skinny, rude punk with his pants hangin’ off of his ass, writing God-awful love poems that all the adults in her life don’t have the hear to tell her they suck. And the way she dresses! First of all, as good as she looks, and as nice as her tits look, she never looks sexy. Beyonce (who is going down the same road as Mariah musically, I guess to achieve the same success, which she’s headed to), as robotic as she is, looks sexy at times. Alicia Keys looks sexy almost all of the time. Even Keisha Cole and Ashanti look sexy from time to time. Mariah almost always looks like the pretty chick with low self-esteem who acts like she has high self-esteem, doesn’t realize how dope she can and should be, and lets all types of guys smash.

Electrifying conclusion: My intention is not to Mariah-bash. If that was the case, I woulda went in as far as the whole Nick Cannon debacle. But I actually fux with Nick Cannon. She’s a world-class talent, has some classic songs, and did a song with ODB. Gotta give it up for that. Plus, she’s the second chick I’d recruit for my Tragic Mulatto Harem/Opium Den (Halle Berry would be 1st). But the way her and her male counterpart, R. Kelly, have drowned their legacies by making ringtone r&b when both have game-changing talent, that’s what’s tragic. There are still many chapters to be written for her (maybe not for Kells), so maybe there will be a return to form in her future, not just sales-wise, but quality-wise also.


Don’t call it a recession! Joblessness is at it’s highest rate since ’86! It’s at 5.5 % which apparently isn’t that high historically, but not good nonetheless, especially considering the price of everything is rising, employers are scared, and that percentage probably hasn’t leveled off. They expect the rate to climb to 6% early next year, which really means 6.5%, at least, because the predictions are often on the low side. Even if that’s inaccurate, I say, expect the best, plan for the worst. Plan for 7%! The AP says that “A trio of crises — housing, credit and financial — have rocked the economy. That's caused economic growth to slow to a crawl as businesses and consumers have tightened their belts. Spiraling energy costs are another negative force.”


Electrifying conclusion: Obviously, whoever seems like they can get us out of this is gonna win the election. But really, many folks don’t care, b/c they’ve been in a recession all of their lives. They don’t know shit about “a trio of crises” because they don’t own a house and are subject to their landlords’ whims regardless of a housing crises, the only credit they know is at the bodega or with the dopeman, and they don’t really understand what the fuck economists mean by the “price of the dollar.” Fuck does that mean? A dollar is gonna be worth 50 cents, and they’re gonna have to come up with a new term for what 100 cents means? I’ll tell ya what this joblessness means, because I predicted this shit a few years ago. I said that we’re about to relive the ‘80s, and I don’t mean rope chains, Mohawks, skinny ties, Members Only jackets, and “Knight Rider” remakes, and VH1 specials. I mean niggas are gonna get real grimy again. People are already back on some coke-sniffing, piss-on-the-poor, celebrate-everything-trashy, glamour shit. The have-nots are about to do what not having money or jobs to pay for all of our outrageous living expenses forces us to do. There’s gonna be a lot more whoring, a lot more robbing, a lot more stealing, a lot more killing, a lot more garbage, a lot more police brutality, etc. All of this has been happening. The difference is that New York aint gonna’ have it this time. City Hall knows what’s about to happen, and they’re trying to make sure that all of the folks who would do these things are either brutally suppressed and contained in small areas (i.e. projects), or forced out of the city altogether. I don’t think that will work because many have-nots are very determined to stay in New York, and somehow, someway, will survive all efforts to be banished. Mark my words, one day in the very near future, the front page is gonna have a Central Park Jogger-esque story. I don’t wish that on anyone, but horrible things happen all the time, and the media uses their power to get us outraged only over certain things. When the elite really starts to get scared, they’re gonna use their media outlets to spook us into thinking hell is breaking loose, and extreme measures must be taken immediately. Just remember where you heard it first.


My mind is the subway, full of scantily clad young women of all persuasions, routes leading to several places good and bad, and open to anyone willing to pay the price. This is my train of thought:

I love Jack Black. I will not see “Kung Fu Panda.”*Obama should pull the trigger, and put Clinton behind him; so when the snipers take aim, he’ll have someone else watching his back, and potentially in place to take the bullet. I mean that figuratively. Not on some “RFK was assassinated late in primary” shit* 2 days left at my current job after today! Movin’ on, niggas!*Maybe we’ve been prematurely speaking of a Lakers Dynasty, and Kobe truly becoming hier to Air. Let’s talk about his next week.*I been running. In the park, on the streets, all of that. It aint showin’ yet, but watch out in a coupla years!*Solange (baby sister of Beyonce) Knowles broke her foot on the way to the stage, and continued on to perform, rushing to the hospital afterwards. This was during her tour. If this never happened, no one would know that she’s on a tour. Or that she has an album to tour in support of. Or that she sings. Or that she exists.*Li’l Wayne is a monster. “Lollipop” is #1, in the face of “American Idol” single, teenyboppers, divas, and anything featuring T-Pain or Akon. His album is about to sell a zillion copies. And it’ll be the first I’m gonna buy in a long time. I’ma try to get a cassette b/c I’m about to buy a car that has a tape deck. Gully.

Word’s of wisdom can be found in the most unlikeliest of sources. Today mine come from Usher’s “U Don’t Have To Call.”

“Situations will arise, in our lives, but, you gotta be smart about it…”

Yessir.

I'm StarPower, and I approve this message.