No More Electric Relaxation

"Welcome back, StarPower!" said T.E.C.

"Glad to be back!" I said.

"So I know you said you'd come back when you cleared your head a bit, enough to focus on people other than yourself. Are you in that place now?"

"I think I am, homey. I think I am."

"Back to judging celebrities, quantifying every and anyone's artistic output, deriding trends, and generally keeping folks abreast on what's important out there in the cultural landscape?"

"Spoken like a true blog, T.E.C. Yes, I am back. For real this time. I've been feeling extra spicey lately; high time I came back to my kitchen and dished out some sustenance to my people."

"Good shit. You know we got a new President, right? And he's a brother!"

"Yeah man, Barack Obama."

"How you feelin' about that?"

"I feel like I didn't help put him in office."

"What?"

"You see, I found out I had 'inactive' voter status a day before the election. Did some research and figured I'd be able to take care of it on Election Day and go help make history. Found out it was something I should have taken care of months before and something not so easy to figure out the day of. Long story short, my wife voted for both of us."

"I know your wife does everything for you, but voting is one thing she can't do for you. One person, one vote."

"Whatever, you know-it-all blog. The nigga won, didn't he? That's what's important. He aint need my vote."

"If everyone thought like you, he wouldn't have won. You would've been tight if he lost by 1 vote, wouldn't you have? They put those obstacles in place for people like you; white people will find a way, blacks like you need to be more proactive."

"Fuck you mean "blacks like me?! Racist-ass blog!"

"How the fuck can I be racist?! I'm a blog, I'm whatever color you made me."

"Your ass is gonna be clear, meaning non-existent, if you don't stop fuckin' wit' me!"

"You probably thought that was clever. That wasn't even clever. Not at all. Not funny, not clever. Guess that's what happens when you haven't been writing for a while. Use it or lose it, pal. By the way, how's the hip-hop going? Still saying your little raps here and there?"

"You condescending prick of a blog. Actually, I've been spending much of my hiatus writing really, really fresh rhymes. The freshest ever actually. Plus, I got a show coming up this Thursday, Nov. 13th @ Public Assembly in Brooklyn, 70 N. 6 St., 9pm, with my crew, The Dugout, some other talented folks and none other than, wait for it...The Beatnuts! So take that! No, better yet, like Diddy - take that."

"First of all, few will get your obscure little Li'l Wayne reference. Second of all, The Beatnuts aren't exactly Outkast. I'm sure they're thrilled to be performing with you. Newsflash: you live in the Bronx, but you don't exactly loom as large as Big Pun did on the hip-hop scene."

"Why you tryin' to come at me like that? I mean, what the hell dude?"

"I'm sorry; I think I just have all this built up resentment because I know you've been posting notes on Facebook and blogging on MySpace while you've been away."

"It aint even like that, T.E.C. I haven't been goin' hard anywhere. Especially MySpace. Only thing I been writing is lesson plans."

"Well, if you say so, I have no choice but to believe you. Just prove it by coming around more often."

"Ok, but, um, you sound an awful lot like a woman scorned. I know you're a blog and you don't have a gender, but I always considered you to be male, so this is starting to seem kinda gay. I'ma holla @ you tomorrow, ok?"

"Cool."

Random thoughts - Michelle Obama can get it. You know what "it" means. It means my penis. Not in a derogatoy way. I mean I'd have sex with her body...Does this mean we never again have to see Sarah Palin?...Is Gwen Stefani's baby really named Zuma? C'mon, this is getting ridiculous...No, I didn't hear Jay-Z is contemplating a run for mayor. I won't even entertain such b.s....Rachel McAdams is hot. Especially with red hair...Ciara is killin' 'em in that new joint, talkin' bout "I'm the energizer playboy bunny..." Giiiiirl! Stop playin'! Don't make look for you!...Brewers hired Willie Randolph as bench coach. It's a step back to managing I guess...My birthday is approaching, and I'm feeling more Scorpian-like than ever. I'm having FUN dude. Really.

Leo Dicaprio told Zac Efron he can have the teen idol title. Leo never wanted it to begin with. Leo said "I look at young Zac Efron and think, 'Go get it pal, leave me in peace,'" Leonardo told Fox. "I was never happy with the teen idol tag at all -- wanted to be a sex symbol or all that stuff -- it was the work that appealed to me. Really, nothing else."
Leo also said he had "total respect for how young stars like Zac handle it all. Really, total respect."

Electrifying conclusion: First of all, what made Leo think he still had that title. I don't buy little teen magazines and all that, but I'm pretty sure that even though he probably still gets a lion's share of quim, teen idol is a title that changes rapidly. There had to have been quite a few title reigns in between "Titanic" which came out when I was in high school, and "High School Musical." Second of all, it all seems kinda gay to me. "It all" meaning Zac Efron. I believed it when the tabloids used to report the exploits of Leo's "pussy posse" (which included Q-Tip, David Blaine, and Lukas Hass, and Tobey Maguire). But Zac could hang out with Ron Jeremy, Jack Nicholson, Joe Bellz, and Kevin Carr and I still wouldn't think he was after pussy. Just sayin'.

Random thought: I was watching a televangelist today and thought, "I could be a preacher if I was less sinful and enjoyed talking to people."

T.I. is hurtin' 'em. Peep this: "T.I. again succeeds himself at No. 1 on the Billboard Hot 100 as "Live Your Life" featuring Rihanna, trades places 2-1 with "Whatever You Like." On Oct. 9, "Life" replaced "Like," making T.I. the ninth artist in the rock era to do this." - Billboard.com. The top debut of the week is a Jaime Foxx song featuring who else? T.I. Over a month in, his album (which did 1/2 a million in it's first week) is still top ten and headed for platinum by Christmas or sooner, most likely. Plus, his lyrical game gets tighter with each album.

Electrifying conclusion: Tip aint quite ready to concede the "Best Rapper Alive" or "King of the South" titles to Li'l Wayne just yet. He's building up quite the case before he enters prison. You can argue that on "Swagga Like Us" he had the best verse, matched against arguably the 3 best rappers in the game. Well done sir, well done.

So a lot of very influental folk (Ellen DeGeneres, Brad Pitt, Barbra Streisand, Melissa Etheridge, Steven Spielberg, Samuel L. Jackson, etc.) have put their influence behind the push to stop Proposition 8, which will overturn the rights to gay marriage in California if approved. Apparently, some were angry that longtime gay-friendly Madonna didn't do enough to help balance the scales. At her concert last night (where the big news was her bringing Britney and Justin together on the same stage {can you believe it! omg! that's too much fabulousness and gayness to handle in one building, let alone one stage!}) Madge said , "I am very sad to hear we didn't win Proposition 8. But we will not give up the fight. No, we will not. Never! If we got an African-American in the White House, we can have gay marriages." But one concertgoer said, "Too little, too late, Madge. Where was your money and influence before the vote?"

Electrifying conclusion: I guess a gay President would be the ultimate barrier-breaker, huh? It's like, "Fuck, we got a black in there, can it really be that hard to turn the White House into the Pink House?!" That concertgoer shouldn't have shit to say. If you don't like how Madge is spending her dough, then don't pay the hundreds of dollars I'm sure you paid to go see her live. Moron.

I'm StarPower, and I'm back to approving messages.