Back From The Dead!

"T.E.C." is back by Anonymous request actually. I thought about it, and said, "Why the f-ck not?" David Carradine done killed himself doin' some real suspect sh-t. "Speidi" is wil' for the night out there. Lady Gaga has the music world captivated for reasons I can't understand. Jay-Z is back with a song I don't know how I feel about yet. There's a lot to talk about. Let's start concluding...

So David Carradine was found hanged to death in a Bangkok hotel. They cried suicide at first, but then remembered that they couldn't convince ANYONE with sense that white men go to Bangkok to do anything but engage in the most taboo of activities. And when it got out that his wrists and nuts and sh-t like that might've been bound together on some weird, possibly gay, Thailand-type sh-t, they decided not to try and play us. His famalams threatened to sue after finding out that some Thai publication released a pic of the hanging body. Turns out the pic was fake.

Electrifying conclusion: His publicist said that the death was definitely "accidental." I'm sure it was. Nigga aint intend on dying. He probably did a buncha strange sh-t and accidental died during said strange sh-t. He was famous, but not that famous anymore, and it's always funny how those types of stars become crazy famous after doing some dumb sh-t, you know? Remember, O.J. wasn't that famous anymore when he started murdering white couples. Phil Spector, Robert Blake, they weren't all that A-List at the time they started killing women, feel me? Now David will always be known for this instead of bad acting on "Kung Fu" and deliciously bad acting in "Kill Bill."

I love it when I get new batteries for my toothbrush and it's rip-roarin' again. Makes me feel like my mouth gets cleaner.

Where'd Lady Gaga come from? Her voice is ultra-annoying, though her songs are a bit catchy. The fact that she seems like a mega-slut is appealing, I guess. She has two Top 10 singles right now, "Poker Face" and "Love Game," while her former #1 "Just Dance" is still all over the airwaves. Plus her album is over 1 million copies, and in the top 5 after 8 months. Success and publicity-wise, she's certainly following in the footsteps of the person she most obviously is channeling - Madonna.

Electrifying conclusion: Gaga is a phenomenon of mediocrity. I actually think Katy Perry (who I have a secret crush on) is SO much better. A more interesting voice and slutty look than Lady. Doesn't it sound like either Britney (who's "If U Seek Amy" is better than anything by Lady Gaga) is imitating Gaga now, or Gaga is making the music she thinks Britney should be making?

I just might go see "Hangover." Just saw "Seven Pounds" - wow. Just saw "Righteous Kill" - ehh. Just heard Jay-Z's "D.O.A. (Death of Autotune)." First time I heard it was live, and I, for some dumb reason, though that was the actual recording. I thought it was amazing and risky. Then I heard the regular recording and lost much enthusiasm. It's good, not great. But like Swift and Cav said, it's more like an instructional piece. It's good stuff.

Spencer Pratt (I won't give his rap album any more light than this sentence right here) might be the smuggest person on earth right now. And Heidi may very well be the most annoying blond since, God rest her soul, Anna Nicole. What will their kid be like? But check it- they said they were "tortured" - literally - by NBC execs. TMZ reports, "We've learned Heidi was rushed to the hospital and diagnosed with a gastric ulcer after being held with hubby Spencer Pratt in a dark room for a day and a night with only water, rice and beans. It was designed as punishment because they left the show. One cast member described their treatment this way: 'It's the same as Guantanamo Bay.'"

Electrifying Conclusion: C'mon now. Torture is watching this show for more than 30 seconds, know that all they would have to contribute to the good of mankind is a flash of Heidi's tits - wait, at least they're self aware. Heidi's scheduled to be nude in an upcoming issue of Playboy.

I'm StarPower and I approve this message.

p.s.s.s.s.t. -

you should really, really come to this:

(yes, that's my classroom - go on, click it).