Today's Blog: Interesting Even Though I Have No Name For It

I feel like a hypocrite because I admonished one of my 9th graders for not doing better on her report card. I feel like a hypocrite because she doesn't know that I'm leaving the job in a month. I doubt she would care about what I think as much if she knew that I was leaving. I feel guilty because I know that I can't follow up with her situation. I feel a bit guilty because this girl wrote in a poem that she comes to school just to see me and have our daily discussions about hip-hop, poetry, and life. I feel like I'm not being true. But I'm making the best decision for myself by advancing my career. This is a decision I make every year, leaving a trail of disappointed teens in the wake. It kinda sucks. Really...I wish they'd replace Grey on "Grey's Anatomy." She's sooo annoying. Actually the whole show has just gotten too cute for itself...Do you watch wrestling? Probably not. I do. And what?! Can't beat me?!...Cat's around my hood used to say that all the time - "can't beat me!"...Mariah and Nick Cannon are 10 levels past sickening already, and Chris Brown and Rihanna are headed there also...That new Ne-Yo song is maaad hot...I'm marrying a teacher, who is practicing for a dance festival she's doing with her students, and I'm being subjected to the 200th straight listen to "What Time Is It" from the "High School Musical Soundtrack." Yeah, the song is as bad as you'd imagine it...The Mets are FUCKING UP!...Peace to Justine Henin and Annika Sorenstam; going out on top is very classy. "Stay classy," as Ron Burgundy would say, and stay retired.


In Greece they found this little 9-year old girl’s twin inside her own stomach! No, she didn’t eat her twin, that would be weird. This is something that happens one in 500,000 births. Sorry, I couldn’t get a pic, so I had to use my imagination (read: Google Image search for something ridiculous). She was complaining about stomach pains, and then the doctors removed a tumor that was a formed fetus with a head, hair, and eyes. The girl is making a full recovery as we speak.

Electrifying conclusion: Would it be tasteless if I said that this just could’ve been an Immaculate Conception gone wrong? I mean, the girl’s name was Mary. Seriously. Nah, I’m lyin’. Had you goin’ for a second though, didn’t I? Admit it! See, that’s what I can’t stand about you. When I lie, you never want to admit that you believed me. So I might as well continue lying, but never letting on that I’m lying. That would teach you a lesson, wouldn’t it?

John McCain is gonna beat Obama when millions of these racists decide that a Republican trumps a Black any day. Go on and disagree, it’s your right. One guy who was at a Hillary rally said that if the Hilster loses, he’s voting for McCain because Obama’s a Muslim! Go on and fool yourself into believing that voters like him are few and far between. If I were to vote for McCain, I would be voting because of all of this good shit he was saying. He won’t stick to any of it, but damn if it he doesn’t sound like a man of action! Some excerpts:

-He pledges to halt a Bush administration practice of enacting laws with accompanying signing statements that exempt the president from having to enforce parts he finds objectionable.
-Envisions April's annual angst replaced with the option of a simpler flat tax
-Immigrants living humanely under a temporary worker program
-Political partisanship driven by weekly news conferences and British-style question Periods with joint meetings of Congress
-Osama bin Laden dead or captured
-Government spending curbed by his ready veto pen

Never one to count his chickens before they hatch, this is how he envisions the country at the end of his first term:



· The Taliban threat in Afghanistan has been greatly reduced.
· "The increase in actionable intelligence that the counterinsurgency produced led to the capture or death of Osama bin Laden, and his chief lieutenants," McCain said. "There still has not been a major terrorist attack in the United States since Sept. 11, 2001."
· A "League of Democracies" has supplanted a failed United Nations to apply sanctions to the Sudanese government and halt genocide in Darfur.
· The United States has had "several years of robust growth," appropriations bills free of lawmakers' pet projects known as "earmarks," public education improved by charter schools, health care improved by expansion of the private market and an energy crisis stemmed through the start of construction on 20 new nuclear reactors.



But this is what got the newsies all hot and creamy:



"The Iraq war has been won (by 2013 he says). Iraq is a functioning democracy, although still suffering from the lingering effects of decades of tyranny and centuries of sectarian tension. Violence still occurs, but it is spasmodic and much reduced."

When told he was wildin’ by setting a timetable, he said the following:



"It's not a timetable; it's victory. It's victory, which I have always predicted," McCain said. "I'm not putting a date on it. It could be next month, it could be next year, it could be three years from now."

Electrifying conclusion: “The establishment” and “the powers that be,” even though they hate McCain, end up thanking God that he keeps the House, White.



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