Eff The Golden Arches, How About The Golden Burger!

My dude Merc once said that cats are gonna start wearin’ platinum shirts. He meant it as a joke, but when it comes to the outrageous ways rich folk spend their dollars, a lot of truth is said. Ingest. This is the $175 gold hamburger. No really, it actually has gold on it. This is what The Gothmist had to say:

10 ounces of Kobe-raised beef crowned with a thick “lobe” of seared foie gras, 25 grams of shaved black truffles, and aged gruyere cheese. It comes enthroned on a brioche bun anointed with a homemade truffled mayonnaise and garnished with more shaved truffles. Oh, and gold leaf flakes from Japan, which has the yummiest gold.

Electrifying conclusion: With the way food prices are going up, I think that the folks behind the goldburger are just being visionary. That will be an average price soon if things continue like they’ve been going. Watch some of “Idiocracy” if you get a chance to see where unchecked ignorance can lead our society.

Is this for real?. If so, I think it's hella interesting. Aston Kutcher has a new show in the works where he plants fake stories about celebs to ‘punk’ the paparazzi as a way of gettin’ revenge for them being, well, paparazzi. I only found this out because I wanted to see what was up with this Diddy/Cameron Diaz rumor. It might be a put-on courtesy of Aston. Here’s a link:

www.celebitchy.com/9894/diddy_and_cameron_diaz_one_of_ashton_kutchers_planted_stories/

So yeah, the student I was telling y’all about now hates me. We had a great relationship, now she won’t talk to me, and said that I ruined her life. He mother had warrants, and all types of police and social service got involved. This kid has loads of potential; there’s a very good chance it won’t be realized. It’s sad, but it’s true. Oh yeah, she spread it all around the school that I got her a case, so now I’m a school-wide villain. I’m leavin’ the school for good in a week, and she is transferrin’ also, but I thought there was a chance that I could mentor her. Not happening. I told her that I picked the lesser of two evils – her getting hurt vs. the system getting’ all up in her business. She couldn’t care less about my philosophies. She said that she told me stuff in confidence, and I let her business out, leading to her unfortunate situation. I truly felt like I did the right thing, but I don’t feel as strongly as I did on Friday, and that wasn’t a strong feeling to begin with. Maybe I should’ve let them handle it. Will any good come of this, for her family? Who the hell knows. Movin’ the fuck on…

I would understand if a newcomer to MMA said, “Screw this, I’m never watching this crap again,” after viewing that debacle on CBS Saturday night. I don’t know that much about the sport, but I do know what’s entertaining, and the finish to the Lawler-Smith fight wasn’t entertaining. I didn’t say that the fight shouldn’t have been stopped. I’m just talkin’ from the perspective of someone wishing to be entertained. That eye-poke probably warranted a stoppage, but that’s not what I, and many others, perceived. Plus, dude was ready to keep goin’. The Kimbo fight? Wow. First of all, it looked like he might have tapped at one point. Second of all, I don’t think he was gonna win. Third, if they were gonna call it b/c he hit that inflated ear, they should’ve called it from jump b/c it was obviously only a matter of time before Kimbo opened that bitch up. I think that the ear was a convenient excuse to stop the fight before Kimbo lost, which would have greatly decreased his mystique, thus his drawing power. I’m sure Kimbo could demolish me with very minimal effort, and take a peaceful nap afterwards, but I’m also sure that a good MMA fighter, not a great one, could take him apart at this point. Then again, I don’t know, I heard that he beat Tank Abbot. I only know Tank from wrestling, where he had the gimmick of being some hard-punching shoot-fighter; does it mean anything that he beat Tank Abbot? Holla at me if you’re more informed than I am.

Electrifying conclusion: I’ll still watch another Kimbo fight if it’s on CBS. I don’t really watch to see him win. I watch to see him do damage. Remember that in MMA, fighters do lose; even top fighters will have a record like 17-5. So I’ll keep watching. As long as there’s damage to be done. And Kimbo isn’t the only beast out there. Rampage got me into the sport. He’s worth watching, peep this - www.youtube.com/watch?v=vwpWTHDox4Y

R.I.P. to the great Bo Diddley, one of those artists who, along with Ike Turner and Little Richard, has a genuine claim to founding rock and roll. This is what the AP said:

In the early 1950s, Diddley said, disc jockeys called his type of music, "Jungle Music." It was Cleveland disc jockey Alan Freed who is credited with inventing the term "rock 'n' roll."
Diddley said Freed was talking about him, when he introduced him, saying, "Here is a man with an original sound, who is going to rock and roll you right out of your seat."
Diddley was also one of the pioneers of the electric guitar, adding reverb and tremelo effects. He even rigged some of his guitars himself.
Diddley's influence was felt on both sides of the Atlantic. Buddy Holly borrowed the bomp ba-bomp bomp, bomp bomp rhythm for his song "Not Fade Away."
The Rolling Stones' bluesy remake of that Holly song gave them their first chart single in the United States, in 1964. The following year, another British band, the Yardbirds, had a Top 20 hit in the U.S. with their version of "I'm a Man."
Many other artists, including the Who, Bruce Springsteen and Elvis Costello copied aspects of Diddley's style.
Growing up, Diddley said he had no musical idols, and he wasn't entirely pleased that others drew on his innovations.

Electrifying conclusion: I like the way this cat spoke.

This is what he had to say about the copycats:

"I don't like to copy anybody. Everybody tries to do what I do, update it," he said. "I don't have any idols I copied after."

"They copied everything I did, upgraded it, messed it up. It seems to me that nobody can come up with their own thing, they have to put a little bit of Bo Diddley there," he said.

On not getting paid what he was worth:

"I am owed. I've never got paid," he said. "A dude with a pencil is worse than a cat with a machine gun."

Bo knows truth.

• The MTV Movie Awards sucked. I hate when someone tries to hard to be cool, or live up to the image they feel people have of them. That went on the whole night. A night of trying to create moments. Is Mike Myers gonna live off of the “Austin Powers” movies forever? Yup.
  
• Robert Downey Jr. just jumped ahead of Brett Farve (but still behind Johnny Depp and Tom Brady) on the folks-white-people-idolize list. He can do no wrong. All the drugs and arrests and he’s treated like a god.
  
• Go Mets.
  
• “Sex and the City” cleaned up, didn’t it?! Tons of dudes were obviously forced into seeing it with their ladies. Not me! Mr. and Mrs. Power are waiting for that “The Wire” movie to come out.
  
• I just might be buying a hooptie today.
  
• I don’t care what anybody says, I aint gon’ count Clinton out ‘til this thing is totally over.
  
• Can’t wait to get out there and perform my new music. I don’t see anyone doing anything like it at live hip-hop shows. I wouldn’t call it a completely original approach, but it is an evolution. An evolution for me, and for hip-hop. I really broke it down to beats, rhymes, and life – a universal sound anyone with rhythm can appreciate. It’ll just be an emcee, the mic, and his beats. A smooth current of rhymes inside a flood of rhythm. No wasted words, ideas, sounds, or motions. No posturing, no fakeness. If it doesn’t come off, I’m strictly to blame (and maybe the sound system ;) because I created this, and I’m solely responsible for delivering the music. I may have been building my whole music career towards this. Time to shine!
  

I’m StarPower, and I approve this message.

Sunday Mail

This is an artist's rendition of me and my close friends planning to board a fully operational mothership the-fuck-up-outta here. Strawberry fields, white rooms with black curtains, and aquaboogie await us. Activities will include sky-kissing, searching for white holes (if there are black ones, there must be white ones, right?) and keepin' it funky.






If you'd like to join us, hit me up at eccentricisajustaeuphemisim4weird@whoneedsdrugs.org.


Remember I said I saw Michael Wright from "The Five Heartbeats," "Sugar Hill," and "Oz?" This is the pic of him givin' a cool-ass b-day shoutout to my man Lou.

"Sugar Hill" was the first flick that almost made me cry. Never cried from a flick, but that came close. The way his pops took that dope to his vein, and died in front of his son at the end. Shiiiit. Watchin' movies like that on cable is almost like watchin' reality tv for real, for real, for some of us. Y'all don't even know! But movin' on...

I'm not gonna shorten my blog. It's for readers.

• Confession: I had a drink on Friday that was off of a "Sex and the City"-inspired menu. It was actually a shot - Liquid Cocaine, which had 151, peppermint shnapps, and hellfire. One did the trick. Had me feelin' like "Mr. Big" out that bee-ya-itch.
• Too many dance shows, folks, too many dance shows.
• Those who tell don't know, and those who know are named StarPower
• Gas is $11 a gallon in Turkey, $10 in France, and 12 cents in Venezuela. Do what you will with that info if you didn't have it already.
• Nigga, we know why Obama quit that Church. 'Cause niggas was about to make him not be President, which he might not be anyway. No further analysis required.
• Lots of shit in life don't require complicated answers, or advanced thinking. The shit that requires deeper thought, we simplify, and the shit that's easy to figure out, we complicate. Yes/no? Are the MTV Movie Awards on tonight? I'm all over that. I prefer the video jumpoffs, though.
• I bought new computer speakers; I knew it would make a difference in how much better my beats would sound, but wow! It's showtime muthafuckas.
• Should I let my former students read my blog? I may not have control over that anyway.
• I'm fine with someone not feelin' me. It's cool. You have your reasons. We'll co-exist, maybe even cooperate, but that's it. And then we'll move on. Wanting to be friends with everyone is fucking immature. Adults have enemies. It's just life. Doesn't mean they spend energy trying to make your life less enjoyable. They might, might not. Some people just won't like yo' ass for whatever reason. And as long as they do, they're an enemy. The mature thing is to not associate with them, or foster a relationship with them that prevents you from getting money or pussy. An enemy might be the best person to gain off of, b/c you won't feel remorse for using them. If they allow themselves to be used, they need to become a better enemy. Like, go to enemy school or something.
• I'm not a Denise Richards fan, never was, something about her, and I hate that she has a reality show. Same goes for the Lohan mom. But that's about as much of my energy as they'll get.
• Can't imagine there's a place with more flavors of stunning women than New York. On one block you'll see waspy, ethnically ambuigous, hood, shy, schoolgirl (of age, of course), trashy, homely, thick, skinny, model-type, milf, tomboy, everything. Awesome.
• I'm startin' that Masters Degree in Urban Ed in about 2 weeks! Let's get it!

I blogged before "T.E.C." It was on Friendster and MySpace. I wanna let y'all in further (pause...I know, I said I'm too mature for that, but it's fun to say sometimes, no matter how many fat poet girls get upset when I say it at shows) by re-posting old blogs to show you my mindstate back in '05 and '06. Here's my very first blog from July '05. I actually recited this as a paper, verbatim, in an English class during my last semester as an undergrad. Peep:

Limited Edition
My ‘Definitive Label’ in life will always be ‘Black Man,’ something I understand, and better learn to love, because it’s a title given to me; and when you give something a name, you possess a certain amount of power pertaining to that thing. So my mother, through her maternal powers, named me Roderick, and some colonists, (Irish or Scottish I presume) used their power to give my ancestors, the name Collins. Now, I’m defined by another title I didn’t give myself - Black man. I understand the slavemasters had the money and the power, and my mother was responsible for my life, so that was their claim to naming me, directly or indirectly. But now that I make my own money and I’m responsible for my own life, I want a say in how I’m labeled. Most people change their name, but I’m gonna work with that definitive label of ‘Black Man,’ also known as ‘Black Guy’ when coming out of the mouths of non-black comedians, ‘Brother’ or ‘Bro’ when coming out of the mouths of neo-hippies and black men who went to the Million Man March, or ‘Nigger’, when coming out of the mouth of Paris Hilton (though I wouldn’t be surprised if a coupla niggas have came into her mouth as well.) But listen, I didn’t come up here to rant and rave, like ‘Angry Black Man’ has been known to do. I feel like I have a helpful alternative to the label ‘Black Man,’ and the alternative is necessary. This is because some black dudes have an issue; like say something happened, and you hear a white person say “Oh, there was a Black Guy in there…” or when describing us, “You know, the Black dudes!” As a black person, you might be like “Oh, why she gotta say black guy?” or “Why he say it like that?!” Why? Because, that’s you’re definitive label, that’s why! What else should they say? It was the easiest thing to say, and it said all it needed to say about you.

You may or may not agree with what I’m saying, but consider this: How about, instead of ‘Black Man,’ (which I do like, it has a certain sense of force to it) how about we use “LIMITED EDITION?” Limited Edition Human Beings- “L.E.H.B.s” for short, or Limited Edition Homo Sapiens- “L.E.H.S.” for short. Now I know with that one, people will make jokes and says things like “you’re L.E.H.S. (less) of a person” or some dumb sh-t, but remember, we made black, which had nothing but bad connotations, beautiful. We can make L.E.H.S., more.
Now, “Limited Edition” says in the label, all it needs to say. When a limited edition of something is rolled out, it’s because it’s a little different, a little more special. It does everything the regular one does, but it might do a little more, look a little different. That’s us, Black Men. We gotta work a little harder than the regular American; we come in a different color than the regular American; you don’t see as many of us, you know on t.v. and in general; hell, they even try their hardest to keep us locked away, I guess for preservation or safekeeping. But like the most definitive aspect of anything labeled limited edition, we’re around for a much shorter amount of time than the regular American. White Americans’ lifespans are approaching 78, almost 80 years. Black Men reach 64, and that’s it. I’m not sure if that’s long enough to collect social security. So, appreciate the “Black Man” while you can, the Limited Edition Human Being, (“L.E.H.B.), aka the Limited Edition Homo Sapien (“L.E.H.S.”); we’re becoming more scarce everyday…

_____________________________________________________________

I know I talk a lot about gentrification, but as we look to purchase property for profit and prosperity, and eat out and lounge increasingly in neighborhoods folks wouldn't walk through a few years ago, and visit white friends in hoods that were traditionally never white-friend friendly, the subject's on my mind a lot. Not as much as hoping the Knicks draft well this year, nipple slips, or trying to lose the gut (I aint tryin' to look like R. Belly this summer), but enough to occupy a good amount of my thoughts. Know what? I can't be a gentrifier. Sort of like the "black people can't be racist" argument that states that racism reflects a postition of power. Only the group in power can discriminate based on race, so blacks can be prejudiced, but not racist. Similarly, I can't be a gentrifier because I am, and never have been, in a position to economically exploit those less fortunate. Not because I'm broke, but because I come from the exploited neighborhoods, I never left, and while I do have a comfortable household income (mostly due to the fact that me and the ol' lady split expenses, have no kids, relatively low debt, and don't try to live above our means), I wasn't born in any position of power. We have paid gentrifier-like rents, and moved into such apartments (i.e. the Harlem apartment they wanted us to pay $1900 a month for a one bedroom for that we still ended up payin' a grip for, that's literally a coupla blocks away from where I grew up, and my family pays under $600 month for a 3 bedroom for), but we are from the community. We would be reinvesting. Since we are of the community, if we profit through buying some shit up that many residents can't afford or aren't willing to take the risk to buy, then the community profits. 'Cause like I said, we are the community.


Better us than Ryan and Trish. And I aint got a beef w/Ryan and Trish. I would probably do the same if I were them. They'll get twice the space uptown than they get downtown for half the money, even though that half is still twice what uptowners are used to paying. Then Ry and Tri will bide their time 'til Conner, Amber, and Jordan and all the rest take the neighborhood over. They'll own it. And ownership is where it's at. 'Cause when you own shit, you have control. Money itself doesn't give you control. It's only as good as what you are able to own because of it. And if someone isn't willing to accept your money, what good does it do you? Ownership is what's up. A degree doesn't mean anything if you can't get a job, right? If someone wants to deny my black, tat-sportin'-ass a job and give it to a white, or just another, person who doesn't have a degree, I won't own a job. A job that could make me money, and help me own some shit. So this is what you need to do: find out how to own shit, b/c that's how you prosper, by owning. You shouldn't necessarily only learn how to make money. You should do that, b/c that's how you get to own shit, but sometimes you can bypass the money through bartering, work, or smarts. For instance, my homey owns a buncha fresh shirts that get him the same admiration that folks who pay big bucks for similar shirts get. He doesn't really buy them; he trades a service to a talented shirtmaker that only requires his time and natural abilities. Everyone can't do that, so they need money to own what they value, but he figured out how to own what he, and those like him, value, without paying much, if any money.

That's just an example. It won't always work. I'll need money to own property, of course, but I have an edge that will save me money. I know some rough, but up-and-coming neighborhoods, from living in them, or having friends who live in them. I didn't have a choice, I was poor. So I'm comfortable in these nabes, and I still have to go and live there. Other potential buyers will only hear about these nabes through people or publications, and will totally miss the boat on other nabes b/c they have no reason to ever discover anything about them. But I'll use my unfortunate upbringing as a plus, when it helps me to notice subtle changes in a certain hood that signal development, renewal, and future economic prosperity. Who will prosper? Honestly, the same people who always prosper in our class system, but folks like me don't even need a big piece, just a small piece that won't seem like a lot to a Trump, but will be more than enough for me to live it up. And that's what's up.

I'm StarPower, and I approve this message.